Bringing Calm to Chaos

8 children.  One teacher.  8 stories to hear at once.  One pair of ears to listen.  16 busy feet eager to move and explore and 1 teacher with a lesson plan.  Sometimes that lesson plan is challenged and stretched with an excited and distracted bunch of learners..

Laughing, giggling.  Wiggling and whispering.  Talking and conspiring.  Hiding and sneaking away.  What's a teacher to do?  As much fun as we have in class, sometimes children have an agenda all their own and the challenge to bring back the attention is on.

A secret that I learned several years ago has worked for me as a mother and as a teacher, and it's the complete opposite of what so many instinctively go to.

Getting louder escalates the noise and commotion.  Becoming quieter brings a more peaceful and attentive focus to class.

Using a quieter, more breathy toned voice makes those around you feel more relaxed.  Speaking more quietly draws those around you to listen more attentively, instead of competing with you with more noise.  And looking directly into the eyes of those you are trying to get attention from is a magical force that says, "I see you, and your attention matters to me".

Parents, teachers, and leaders set the tone for those they are setting to direct and inspire.  If you want a peaceful and attentive child/following, start with setting the right atmosphere with a calm and quiet demeanor yourself.

Dealing with the drama

It's Kindermusik class and time to begin.  You are still coming up the stairs when you hear the "Hello" song being sung.   "Ahhh....we are LATE again!  I wish my son would just hurry up and get in the car when I need him to."

or how about this one....

"It's the 3rd Kindermusik class of the semester and my daughter is still not sitting still during the story time....she goes right up and stands in front of the book so no one else can see.   Why won't she sit on her bum like all the other kids?"

and then there's....

"My son refuses to go get the instruments in the middle of class.  I always have to get them myself.   What is the problem?"

Does this one sound familiar?

"My daughter starts acting up the minute I walk into the class for parent sharing time!!   I certainly hope she's not like this when I'm not here!!"  

This past week I have had conversations with several parents about these and other situations.  It's hard being a parent, knowing what to do when your hopes for what you want to see happen don't match up with your child's challenges.   My experience as a mother tells me that we all want the best for our children, and yet they aren't always in the same zone of wanting what we want for them - or seeing the need for it, for that matter.   What's a parent to do?

While it is important to have goals for your children, it's also important to recognize that your children come with a different set of gifts, strengths, and challenges than you.  Additionally, they are also very young and haven't yet mastered, of course, the social scene of considering others' needs.

Coming to class and having the opportunity to explore these skills through repeated exposure is the best way to reinforce those lessons.  They won't be perfect.  They will want to respond to their impulses.  But through patient reinforcement of the concepts we hope to nurture, they will make progress in time.

Just last week I saw a child who normally is VERY busy in class settle into a quieter routine about 20 minutes into class and then stay in that zone for the rest of the class.  Modelling for several weeks brought about change in time.  Still a work in progress.

And then there was a conversation with a mother whose daughter last year would not leave her side, get instruments from the middle, or give me eye contact.  This year she dances, gets instruments, helps bring things back, and even comes up after class and gives me a hug!  Huge progress!!

One thing we ALL need to remember is that each child is on a growth journey.  Your child, in all likelihood, will have challenges that your don't see in other children.  Or maybe you are reading this and are in that sweet spot of having your child love every moment of class and not really exhibitting anything you'd like to change just now.   Please be patient as other families move through their moments of transition.   I know you all remember what it's like to feel at your end of ideas, strength, and patience.  Rather than wishing the challenges away, celebrate the successes as you see them and offer parents your unconditional support.  One day you'll need it, too!

We are moving together to create a more caring, expressive, and community-oriented childhood while we foster our LOVE of making music!  One day, one class at a time.

Who's memories?

Had an interesting conversation at supper tonight.  My husband was commenting on how a work associate of his was going to the hospital with his wife the next morning, and their child was going to be born!  They were placing wagers on whether the husband was going to make it without passing out. Men can be a little less sentimental about the process than women at times.

With our two grown sons sitting at the table with us, Greg and I started reminiscing about our own delivery days...how when our first baby came, we didn't call ANYONE for about 3 hours after he was born, wanting to just savour the intimacy of our own intoxicatingly wonderful moment with our baby!

I'm a mixture of horrified (I would feel just as disappointed as our parents did, I'm sure, if that were to happen to me as a grandparent one day) and still strangely happy that we had our time together as just the 3 of us!  Of course, Evan, our son, remembers none of this - it has become a memory for Greg and I to share alone.

Then we talked about how different each child is from the other.  How our daughter curled her index finger around her nose when she would suck her thumb, how our sons each had their must-have blanket.  And none of our kids remember any of it.

The things we remember as parents of our children's early years become just stories to them.  Pictures help to fill in the gaps, but in some ways these stories we tell them in their grown up years are about a person they no longer know.  As grown-ups we remember those little people, but the little people have moved on and have been replaced by new, more grown-up  people that we learn to forge new relationships with.  How we relate to our children as toddlers is COMPLETELY different than the way we relate with them as elementary children or teenagers.  Parents learning to let go of the childhood ways is a challenge for they hold a beauty never to be had again.  The smell of a newborn head.  The cuddles with bedtime stories.  The holding of hands as you walk through the park.  All those come to an end one day.

But they are replaced with conversations about issues and important heart sharing.  Watching my children grow and take on adult responsibilites and be contributors to the welfare of others has been soul stirring and affirming.  But the letting go...every once in a while I miss those little ones who used to sit on my lap and fall asleep in my bed.

I will be the story teller.  The one who tells my now grown children about the little ones I once knew.
And they smile as they hear the love in my voice, and their inner child feels it, too.

Little eyes are watching

I remember one evening years ago when my kids were much younger.  We had some company over and it was typical for the kids to be playing downstairs while we adults were upstairs having adult conversations.  I don't remember exactly what we were talking about, but I do remember hearing something very quiet in the hallway, and discovering that one of my sons had tiptoed upstairs and was listening in on what we were talking about.  I'm sure it wasn't horrifyingly awkward, but I do remember thinking that I hope we weren't saying anything that we didn't want him to hear.  Little ears are listening.

My daughter has taken to watching very closely what I eat.  I've transitioned to much healthier eating habits and typically eat things that some of my other family members are not adventurous enough to try, except for my daughter.  It's not unusual for her to ask me if something is OK for her to eat based on certain nutritional guidelines.  Little eyes are watching.

There are times in class when we are choosing scarves to use.  Of course, so many of the girls go for pink or purple right away.  And several of the boys are partial to blue or green.  But I find it interesting that when I take a yellow scarf, several of the class suddenly have a new favorite color.  Little hearts want to stay connected.

No matter what we do as parents or teachers, little eyes and ears are watching.  For better or worse.  Of course we already know this.  We just forget how big of an impact it really is.  Not only do they hear and see what is going on, they process the emotion of situations, too.  When there are tensions and stressors in mom's life, the children pick up on it and often manifest attention getting behaviours.  But conversely, when mom is calm in the midst of a stressful situation, her demanor can calm the uneasiness of her children, transferring her peace and confidence to them.

Parents have such an immense responsibility.  Not only do we provide for all the physical and emotional  needs of our children, but we are also their primary teachers - "on duty" every minute of every day.  And it goes WAY beyond the formal explanations we offer.  The "students" pick up on all kinds of unintentional subtleties.  For example, if you approach an upcoming event with lots of enthusiasm, chances are your children will pick up the same anticipation.  Or more specifically, if you come to Kindermusik classes with a smile on your face, ready to sing and dance and have lots of fun with our little community of like-minded families, your children will sense the good times to be had and join in far more readily.

I know this to be true.  All 3 of my children are very musical.  Talents have been encouraged over the years, but it all started with us singing and dancing in our living room, learning how fun it is to be musical together.  Then by watching their mom be consistently involved in making music with others over the years, both professionally and in other circumstances, they "caught" the music bug and now it's theirs for keeps.

Now my eyes get to watch them ;)

Waiting for Inspiration

I don't know if it's been writer's block or if it is just a symptom of being busy (read distracted), but when I discovered about a month ago that it had been a month since I last posted I started to panic.  And in typical fashion, my anxiety about having no fresh ideas to post made me feel even more blocked.

Funny what a cycle of counterproductivity that is.

Looking for inspiration I thought about reading.  I read a few things and got an idea or two, but then forgot to write them down - and they were gone.  Reading others blogs I felt inspired by their writings, but then felt like a thief writing on the same topics.

Meeting with friends, weeding my long overgrown garden, working my way through long-overdue piles of papers, making lists, and cleaning bathrooms....all had their place on my to-do list, each getting checked off while I waited for inspiration.

And then "Revelation".  I had been having a conversation with one of my now grown children about getting some things done around the house, to which strains of "but I don't feel like it" could be heard in response.  My standard answer to "I don't feel like it" has always been - "well, that's irrelevant.  Don't ask yourself if you want to do it.  Just do."  Starting is, as they say, half the battle.

Last night I took another passing glance at the hall closets and thought, "I'll just see if some of this extra clutter fits in one of the new storage bins I bought..." and it led to a couple of hours of sorting, rearranging, wiping down, dusting off, and then - a closet as a thing of beauty.  The first step, and the rest followed suit.

I'm always glad after the fact that I got the things done that just needed doing.  But before-hand it wasn't really a "can't-wait-to-do-that"kind of excitement brewing.

One of the things we can pass on to our children is that lesson in maturity.  Doing what needs to be done regardless of our feelings about it.  Head over heart.  Or perhaps sometimes auto-pilot over whim?  And before you know it, what needs to be done is done, and our feelings about the event morph into sweet satisfaction.

And don't you know, another blog is written, by just starting :)

What's in momma's purse?

The other day at a wrap-up party for one of our youngest classes, we were sharing in some snacks together.  Snacks can be a challenge for young families, making sure things are of a non-choking size, but particularily in "buffet" type situations like we have for our parties.  Some selections are difficult for small hands and small mouths to manage.

Carla, a very resourceful mother, showed me a new trick that in all my mothering years and years teaching Kindermusik had never seen before.  She travels with scissors.  When it was time to have the snacks, she takes out her handy pair of scissors and proceeds to cut up her daughter's food to just the right size!  No knife, no fork needed.  The scissors do it all.  Then she wipes them off and puts them back in the purse for the next time.

Smart!

Have any handy tips you'd like to pass on?

Why making music fun is so important

Smiling faces.  Eager stories.  Favourite actions to songs.  Moving our bodies to music.  Playing instruments in ensemble together.  Meeting with friends.  Rocking and moving with stuffy friends.  Connecting with family members through dance and physical touch.  It's quite a list of elements to a typical Kindermusik class.  It's part of why families tell me on a weekly basis that the moment they mention it's a Kindermusik class day, that their child beams with delight!!  

The other day a mother came to class with this story - her 18 month old son had been quite fussy that morning, and Mom had tried in vain to find the solution to his distress.  But when she mentioned that they could go to Kindermusik, he instantly stopped, and indicated with a smile on his face that he did want to go.  Can't tell you how many stories I've heard of children driving to Kindermusik and starting to call out "Kindermusik!!" as soon as they see our building.  

Kids LOVE their Kindermusik class and it's really important that they do!   All learning takes place in an emotionally charged environment.  That's why laughter, commraderie, and pleasure are all associated with excellent learning environments.  It's why being a teacher who cares and listens is better able to encourage better results from the students.  Positive feelings toward a teacher, a class, a topic provide an open heart and mind to receiving information.

I love the opportunity to create a fun and fresh, age appropriate learning environment for children each week.  For a brief time, the teacher and the classroom are the message of music.  And Kindermusik is the music that matters to your child because they associate strong feelings of belonging, fun, and creativity with the songs that we do in class.  There will be LOTS of time in the future to have a more disciplined approach, learning scales, technique, and such.  But for these early years, the most important aspect of developing a life long love of music is to keep it fun and the activity age relevant.

Summer camp provides the opportunity to keep up with alll the things we love doing, with the added attraction of a coordinated craft and snack.  Just today when the Imagine That class was able to do a small art project, I was noticing that the children LOVE to learn through the various art mediums, and they LOVE a coordinated craft activity.  They are always eager to test out their creativity, exploring with various mediums.

Keep the learning coming.  Keep music making a daily occurrence!  Keep feeding their inner strength with the joy of successful, age appropriate songs, games, rhymes, and activities. Keep growing their young brains through the only activity available that stimulates the ENTIRE brain at once!  And keep it fun!

Family music making

Having grandparents come visit the Kindermusik classroom is a regular and happy experience!  There is no greater cheerleader than a grandparent coming to encourage each growing musician!  I think that the  classroom becomes more celebratory in any grandparent visiting day because of the joy in their hearts that they carry with them for each accomplishment!  

This particular day we were privileged to have a 4 generation class.  Both grandparents and great grandma were there for these girls' class, joining right in with the songs and rhymes and whole body movements!  Even great grandma got in on the fun using shakers to play along.  Music is about community!  Music is about joy!  Music is meant to be shared!  

Music as a game changer

The most recent issue of "Today's Parent" magazine has an article touting the benefits of music for your child.  While just a few short years ago parents were jumping on the bandwagon of having their children experience the "Mozart Effect", as it turns out, it isn't so much the listening to music that changes your child's learning potential, intellect, or even brain structure.*

What has the biggest effect on children is their interaction with the music!

This is just exactly what we at Kindermusik have been saying all these years.  You can play music for children as background music, but it isn't going to have nearly the same effect for them as when you get out instruments and play along, move your body to the rhythms, rock to the steady beat, or use your own voice to sing along.  In Kindermusik classes we help families to make music in class, so that the familiar activities become home favourites, as well.  It is just the process of taking it beyond the CD player to the bodies and voices that solidifies the learning, actually changing the brain's structure.

Each activity you do, each class you attend, each semester you enroll in, each home activity that you do together is building a bigger and better learning outcome for your child by combining sensory and motor elements!  All that with a smile on your and your child's faces - now that is AWESOME!!

*  If you would like to read more, please find the article on-line at http://www.todaysparent.com/activities/can-music-make-your-child-smarter

Starry, starry night

Home made paper stars are just the thing to add a little "pizzazz" to a treasured song and story.  Love adding a craft to our already engaging Imagine That classes :)

Of course, a music class wouldn't be complete without adding "Twinkle twinkle Little Star", but we expanded that standard with other elements, too!  As we twinkled our stars above, we listened to the hushed expression of the children's classic story, "Goodnight Moon", then danced our stars into the night to the magical sounds of "Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy", now transformed into our "starry dance".  

Oh, the joy of paper and pretend!